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Oct. 14th, 2004 @ 05:03 pm "Dear Diary, my teenage angst has a body count"
My angst tastes like...
black licorice
Black Licorice
Find your angst's flavor

Oh Good God.. i knew it..

Last night i had some of the worst times of my life,. and definatly some of the best.

Megan and me went to Turner creek park, the park i used to spend most of my childhood at, then we saw my old house. I cried thinking about how my mother fucked up my life. And more importantly her own. Divorce is ugly. People get married to easily. But peoply divorce to easily too.

A couple more things happened that night (not those kinda things..pervs ;\ )

Anyway. im going to study, sleep, think happy thoughts, goto the gym, sleep again?
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Oct. 13th, 2004 @ 08:11 pm (no subject)
why did I...
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Oct. 11th, 2004 @ 12:42 am Another update, it basically is a just to occupy the time
Work was uber-suck. Im alone in the house. And its the last thing i want, or feel safe with.

Im starting to get scared about the APt situation. Me and megan still havent paid rent. or put the 30-day notice in, And im not sure if i want to sign another lease or not(with andy or anyone). But i have no where to go, Chris lost his job , so i cant go with my original plan of living with chris and kelly for a couple months. I just dont know. God i wish i had supportive parents. But who knows.. i could sleep at a bus stop a couple days a week and stay in a motel the rest.. it might not be that bad. ak

$50 a night... eek that would be about 8 days a month in a real bed for almost the same as the apt.. arighty nevermind that..

Fuck. i should just go live with my grandma.. and buy an illegal car. and eventually learn to drive it..

Life is a roller coaster, and i am not strapped in
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Oct. 9th, 2004 @ 05:21 pm Apt. Hunting
Current Mood: gloomygloomy
Well me and Andy had a grand old time looking at apt's. Got some good offers. a couple choices to make. But atleast they're all in the area.

MY Medication is going well. Im only suicidal and bipolor.. Wait that was ther before hand..

Well now i can clear my head atleast.. for a couple seconds. I always end up laughing for no reason afterwards.
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Sep. 28th, 2004 @ 10:36 pm ..Its not a real entry. but it bought the costume, and tried really hard

I Havent really Updated this in years.

But through recent tears and realizations i will spark it up again. Surely it will fade away soon.

Well, for those who are actively friends with me. Im sure you all know about recent events. And to the rest of you. Who dont know anything of the Megan-era.. ill keep it that way.

I am "enjoying" single life. But someone who suffers from depression doesnt truly enjoy anything. So i guess i am lying to myself. and all of you. I am so noble. I have had a couple Experiences that remind me of single life. Not quite "hitting on girls", But somewhere in the same ballpark. NO numbers yet. But i havent asked. I Dont really want to date. I just want to know if i can.

]]Interjection[[ i dont give shit about any grammers. or capzing my I'I'I's///

My Notebook is filling with songs and poems and entries faster than I would have ever felt comfortable with. My hand is in constant pain. And it is making it hard to do homework.

Do any of you ever feel "Under-veloped". That is a song;of;sorts i am working on. And it is truly how i feel. It seems my developmental part of my life was stirred around and ignited. Leaving me in a "content with dreaming" outlook. I can see myself working for Target the rest of my life. With no promotion. But feeling just fine about it. And as for the dreams. I love music. mostly making it. But who knows what gets you anywhere with that. Practice? Luck? Ambition? Satan?.. thats probably right

Being A "father" short for many years, makes me feel like less of a man. But i know of plenty of people that barily appreciate any of there paternal influences. So I'm mixed. i would love to blame my wussy-cry-boy attitude on the lack of abuse and influence of a testosterone-machine. But who fucking knows. My mother was hardly ever there either. She loves me. And she was always a few rooms down the hall. But me and her have always been at opposite ends of the world. Her complete lack of Fate and Destiny left me with a dismal belief in a grand purpose.

If only there was a big button that would reveal all

My lips are stained with the taste of her tears.

With no seeds, the old farmer exhales.
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Aug. 8th, 2004 @ 06:51 pm bread
Wayne has no bread. his bread was stolen. by,.. dragons
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Jul. 31st, 2002 @ 01:58 am OMG OMG!
today i found this old CD at k-mart for like 6.99 from a band called BIG BIG.. they are so awsome!!! I love all thier songs.. They have this one guy, who is like the drummer,, he is an old black guy.. and he walked across the stage waving..!!!


even though i have only been a fan for like 3 days. i like the bands older shit.. they sold out.. Everyone but wilson( who is my big daddy) did a tide with bleach commercial..,it was so gay.. but it doesnt matter because wilson still only has one eye. he didnt let fame get to him! still drinks the same ole whiskey, same wheres the same shirt. WILSON IS GOD!!
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Jun. 21st, 2002 @ 01:48 pm TARGET!!!

refer to an older post on why i want to work thier!!

In other news...... this game me and this dude ( www.eyeheartbobs.com ) are working on is the abolsute best thing ever! And i faked slitting my wrists and took some awsome webcame pics.. ill get them up here some day.

I need money to get a phone. so if your christian, pray for me,if your richm just give me some godamn money!
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Jun. 20th, 2002 @ 03:48 pm BEEER
Ever stay up late, watch conan, then see a beer commercial

Life isnt fun like a beer commercial..stupid beer

it goes down more like this

You get drunki, hit on your female friend, she storms outside onto the deck pissed. you come out and say your sorry and you love her, and have a big episode, then you jump off the deck for no reason, then one ofyour drunk friends throws up off the deck, it gets all over you, then you finally get up walk back inside, smelling like shit, and you try to hit on some girls you dont know, then you throw up on them, theyre boyfriends beat your ass..you wake up 8 hours later and your wearing someone elses pants..

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Jun. 16th, 2002 @ 03:03 am NEW PIC THGIN! WOWO!!!!
Current Mood: the TV says im pretty

like when all kindsa mother fuckers bust into a bank with uzis and shootup like 50 bitches!!!


I almsot got a job at safeway.. gotta wait for the fucking buulding to be finished.
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